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to forget you would mean true love doesn't exist

by prissy

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1.
life starts. dreams happen. love begins. nightmares. death. this is to forget you would mean true love doesn't exist. goodbye.
2.
she likes to play with bees without me 
 and i know she doesn’t really love me 
because i run away from everything beautiful if it has potential to cause pain
 cutting the swarms out of my throat that i’ve kept since june
 watching you pick flowers just knowing they’ll die soon 
headache syllable dry heave living hell 
 you won’t look me in the eyes anymore 
and i can’t imagine ever smiling again
 i miss you 
 and i miss june 
when you were happy 
i guess this is goodbye.
3.
legs 00:56
4.
i’m dancing in hopes of a new home 
 and my fingernails are covered in ashes 
 still digging at the grave of my former self 
while she sings into my chest like dirt covers a casket kissing cold hands fit for chapped lips 
 suicide pacts always end in us only playing dead 
moaning so golden 
holding half a breath 
 our near death experience was the day that we met.
5.
heaven 01:28
all i ever wanted was to bleed to death 
in your apartment 
or in a park during sunrise
 my corpse has the same value as an apple core
 you’d find in the street 
the note between 
your blanket and your sheet 
 will find you well 
but don't expect an apology 
we brought this upon ourselves 
but only one of us can go on breathing 
ps. it won’t be me.

about

i'm surprised i'm not dead.

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released June 19, 2022

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prissy Ontario

goodbye.

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